Dating can be a difficult task for anyone. You have to allow yourself to be open to new people and new situations. By putting yourself on the line, you choose to be vulnerable and exposed, which can add anxiety and tension to a first date.
In the beginning of a relationship, we assign certain expectations and hope at least that the expectations can be met. For an introvert, this can be a more daunting task as the very thought of opening their heart may be frightening while their more extroverted brethren might not think twice about it.
This does not mean that an introvert is doomed to walk the Earth alone nor does it mean that they do not have anything to offer. Whether you are an introvert or are dating an introvert, there are a few things on both sides of the coin that should be known before either of you jump into a relationship together.
Find A Common Ground
As an introvert, you must realize that it is okay to not be the center of attention or the social butterfly. Not everyone is outgoing and forthright in social situations and it is not your responsibility to live up to something that does not reflect who you are.
Because of this, it’s okay to be straightforward with your date and let them know that you are an introvert. If certain locations or scenarios cause you to go back into your shell, than try and select a location that will be better suited for you. By being honest and putting your best foot forward, you will be more confident on your date.
First Connection > First Impression
Often times we get caught up in the throws of the “first impression.” We try so hard to get the person to like us that we lose sight of the basic idea of trying to make a connection.
As an introvert, this may prove to be difficult, as that would mean exposing yourself to your perceived vulnerability. Being an introvert is not a negative quality nor is it something about yourself that you should try and avoid. Highlight the qualities that you have at your disposal.
Know a great joke? Let it out! Have a great story? Tell away the best way you know how! Focus on what makes you special so that you can foster your relationships into long-lasting ones that will help you get the most out of life.
Dating an introvert? It is commonly thought that introverts do not like people. While this may appear true and each introvert is different, it is more common that introverts need just as much emotional intimacy as everyone else but don’t know how to go about it.
Establishing trust is a great way of getting to know an introvert better. Find a subject that they are willing to open up about and set your sights on learning more about them.
Be patient; learn their boundaries and you will build a rapport with your introvert that will be as strong as any relationship.
Listen & Learn
On first dates, it’s not uncommon to go on about yourself in an effort to ward off “dead air.” While this is a combination of nerves, excitement and wanting your date to like you, please note that you will not receive this kind of attention from your introvert.
However, what you will most likely receive is a person that is ready, willing and able to listen to every word you say. Once your introvert has established a connection, they will slowly open up and give you the opportunity to learn about them.
Give Them Some Space
It’s not likely that your introvert will suddenly become an extrovert. Additionally, there may be times when they need to return to their shell and relax for a period of time.
Give your introvert that time to relax and take some down time from social obligations. Allowing them time to recharge will allow them that to be a better friend and partner to you.