Are you romantically involved with a control freak? If you’re not sure, ask yourself a few questions, such as:
- Does your significant other get upset when they don’t get their way?
- Do they get upset when your needs disrupt their routine?
- Do they view their needs as being more important than yours?
- Are they terrible at listening to your point of view or opinions?
When dealing with a control freak, there are a few things to consider before taking your relationship further.
Don’t Fight Fire With Fire
When handling a control freak, it is best to approach them with a simple and direct approach. Doing so will keep them cool and calm and allow you an explicit avenue to speak to your partner.
When speaking to them about their controlling ways, be firm and let them know how it makes you feel. Use definite operators such as “When you do this I feel” or “This makes me feel”, to place yourself in a position of vulnerability, rather than aggression.
It goes without saying that changing your partner’s control freak tendencies will not happen overnight. If anything, control freaks have developed a hard shell that will take some time to break.
While going through this process, it is paramount that you try and maintain your patience. You may find the experience difficult but charting and staying the course is ultimately what will make the relationship with your control freak a successful one.
Be Confident & Consistent
Control freaks are used to getting their way and often times are willing to argue and fight to maintain their position. It is important to be confident when dealing with your control freak, as this will make them see that the situation at hand is crucial to your life.
In concert with this, make sure that you consistently let your opinion be heard when you feel that they are trying to control you. Being on top of them is an essential element in having a harmonious relationship.
Don’t Let Yourself Be a Doormat
Ultimately, it is necessary that you make sure that your self-worth is not tied to their controlling behavior. This can be damaging to your self-esteem and will do you more harm than good. After awhile, you may feel that your efforts are not worth it and ultimately having a negative effect on you.
Maintain awareness at all times and if you feel that this is too much for you, sever the relationship before they drag your spirit down.
Understand that the behavior of control freaks comes from a deep-seeded anxiety that has nothing to do with you. You may take it personally, but keep in mind that with patience, tenderness and love, your relationship can continue to grow and thrive.