In this video, Elizabeth Bernstein, a columnist from The Wall Street Journal, discusses what she believes is the best approach to transforming your spouse’s behavior. Rather than critiquing the actions or habits of a loved one that bother you, Bernstein recommends that the most effective way to react to these things is to develop a willingness to change your own actions.

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Watch the video to learn how such self-modifications can shift your spouse’s behavior and ultimately influence the balance of your relationship.