We have now had a Thanksgiving Dinner and all the relatives have gone home, or you have gone home. Hopefully there was a lot of good cheer and enjoyable talk among those gathered at the table. That is usually what is hoped and planned for. However, sometimes that does not happen because there have been rifts in the family and some members either refuse to come, or come but create difficult feelings during what should have been a nice time together. A patient of mine anticipated the Holiday with dread because she feared a repeat of a difficult scene with a relative that had recently happened. Holidays can provide the possibility and opportunity to repair those wounds and create a better connection for the future. That takes both people’s willingness and participation. If this did not happen during the holidays, there is still an opportunity for repair by reaching out to that other person and asking that you both not let the next year pass in anger, as the last one had. A breach in the connection between two family members often affects the entire family and reverberates down the generations. Hopefully those of you who have experienced a breach can help to mend it. Family members can also help by encouraging both people to come together so that the next family holiday, which is fast approaching, can be a joyous one.

Barbara Feld

Founding Partner, PARC

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